Friday, May 28, 2004
Every time I get comfortable with my life, something usually comes along to disturb me...and ends up ruining my plans, messing up my week, etc..yet, in the end, it seems to always lift me up out of a rut. I've wondered for some time now why we, as people, generate to the schedule, the comfortable, the normalcy of daily living that can turn into habitual living with little thinking. Whenever I seem to encounter a week or even a day that just goes totally out of what I thought could've happened, I'm so thankful, and wonder why this doesn't happen to me more often. It's frustrating b/c you experience one of these days every few weeks...those days where you feel like you accomplished a great deal, and it was meaningful in the process...like you really really really enjoyed yourself or something. Then, three weeks go by and nothing. It's a quick blur and you wonder how one day can mean the world to you, and then while at the same time, three weeks can go by and you feel next to nothing has happened in your life for you to dub as meaningful. I guess it's a matter of seeing and choosing what you want to see and don't want to see...but I don't know if that's it. Maybe we couldn't handle having those near-perfect days when everything in you wants to go outside and sit still for an hour and just shut up. Maybe we'd go nuts emotionally and spiritually if we were constantly experiencing these highs that kept sending us upwards. I'd like to think maybe it wouldn't be good, but then, three weeks later, I have one of those days and think to myself, "No...this is good--this is helpful--this would be okay to feel like this every day and it wouldn't get old...ever!" Maybe I'm wrong, but right now, the past 24 hours has been pretty amazing and enjoyable and enriching and everything that every day should be. I think.