anyways, enough about books for now...b/c even though it sounds like i did nothing but read, i actually had so much time to just relax and think and just be me..which was good and bad i guess depending on the day and night and time. i read the book of ruth twice and wrote much of how insignificant and little she makes me feel--even though i admire her a great deal. i think just this time when i read it (i often read her story) it hit me much harder. the realization being that i was a far cry away from the faithfulness and honoring-type of faith that she posessed. i know God has spared me much suffering when it's come to people in my life that i love, and for this, i'm grateful but also recognize that b/c of this, i can't possibly be (yet?) as great a disciple as Ruth was. she lost the love of her life. i've lost a friend here and there, but nothing to this magnitude. so, i sit, and wonder...while realizing my limitations. i'm beginning to appreciate the stages of faith so much more now than i ever have b/c it seems that everyone is on a different journey even though some are heading for the same end. it's okay if i'm not as good or as smart as the next person my age and vice versa. my tendency is to judge, belittle or criticize those my age who haven't gotten what i've gotten. this is wrong, i know, but i'm working on it, like so many other things inside of me. and for now, i think that's about all i can do.
Sunday Morning Thoughts
5 months ago