Loving movies is easy. Loving music is easy. Loving food is easy. But loving people is hard. I think it's because there's that huge chance they won't love you back. But we'll see.
Saturday, August 07, 2004
'friday driving,' starring neville kiser
i have this thing i always catch myself doing when i'm alone in a car, on my way home from work. if the appropriate song comes on (from one of my CDs) i'll suddenly transcend into the opening credits of a movie, where i'm the man driving the car and my eyes act as the camera, filming...with every blink being a new camera angle, inviting the audience inside my car. i imagine the credits cutting in and cutting out and once again, i feel cool--but not cool in a 22-year-old sense--cool in a sophomore-in-high-school-driving-his-car-home-after-school sense. the windows roll down and i imagine most people i pass stare at me and are part of my movie. they see the credits and feel the urge to pull over and clap their hands--who knows. the possibilities are endless. i don't know why i do this--but i do. i smile big when i do it and in one odd way, it's one of the few moments when i sense for sure that God is real and reachable and there. something about a song that so perfectly fits into the backround music category for films catches my ear and i drive home on cloud nine, wishing the ten minute trek could be an hour or so. sadly though, after the song is over, my movie ends and i'm stumped for a second. then--in order to minimize pain and suffering and the reality check one reaches when their imagination has gone too far--i hit the "back track" button, and relive the scene again. maybe this time i'll throw my arm out the window and wave it like i'm at a James Taylor concert. or perhaps i'll hold the wheel with hands gripped tight and imagine myself a cool, james dean kind of rebel, just trying to beat the road in my '96 honda accord. my face would be serious, my eyes focussed and intense. and then, as my hair is blowing up and down in the wind, i crack a smile and unwantingly come back to reality. i'm home now, and for some reason getting out of the car and going inside doesn't seem to be as exciting as my little 4 minute motion picture. but alas, i do it--so i can come inside and write about it on my blog, attempting to prolong the moment and feeling even just for another second. and guess what? it isn't working.