Friday, June 25, 2004

the little pragmatic running around inside of me.

the last two nights right before i've turned out the lights to go to sleep, i've resorted to the ultimately selfish and ignorant prayer that says, "God, even though i'm only getting 4-5 hours of sleep, make it seem like i've been sleeping for way longer than that." now, i understand after taking Dr. Win Corduan's contemp. christian belief class this past year that this is not a very logical thing to pray and it's kind of like asking for God to give you gasoline in your car when you know it's empty and you know you're not going to stop and fill it up anytime soon. anyways, i've prayed this prayer and oddly enough...i've had two of the longest night sleeps (subconsciously that is) that i've had in a quite a long time. i know i know, it's very pragmatic...but it's what happened and when stuff like this happens i wonder why God (if God really did make it feel like i slept longer) would answer my request? i really have a hard time with people who tell me "if you pray about it, God will give you the answer" or "God will give you peace." now, i know God is capable of this, but it seems a little dangerous to make promises for God to fulfill. the reason i have a hard time with people who say this or when I myself get into this mindset is because God never said to us that if we pray to Him, or trust Him or love Him, we'll feel all better and get most everything we want. when people happen to get stuff they "want" (not need,...big difference) it seems they use this as their basis for judging God's character on answering prayer. does this make sense? I just really have a hard time with this and was reminded of it when today at work, my fellow co-worker found out a nurse who works on our floor goes to my church and surprised, my co-worker said, "you go to church? but you always look so sad and tired and should be praying more." i couldn't believe my ears. is this the way the world views prayer? as a self-serving, methodical practice? i know i do sometime (praying for sleep, etc.) but......??????? i don't know. anyways, i'll try to calm down now. hope you all have a lovely dinner.

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