Everyone is familiar with the weird diets and unique blending of different foods to help you lose weight faster, right? Well I can remember when I was younger (probably around the age of 12, when I first became a little "husky" (I hate that word) and when I first remember being self-conscious about my weight) imagining what it would be like to do my own infomercial on how eating potato chips or cheetos or cheese helped me lose 20 lbs. Sometimes I would take a handful of chips, go to the bathroom, and practice doing test commercial takes into the mirror with me smiling and slowly eating and chowing down on a big, orange cheeto. The announcer man with the low, peppy voice would fill the bathroom and go something like this: "...And studies have recently proven that eating 18 cheetos every morning actually helps reduce cholesterol and increase your body's metabolism...so essentially you turn into a fat-burning machine!" My crunching on the cheeto and frequent winking into the mirror cements such a claim. Except for the fact that I saw myself as a weight-burning machine in progress and not necessarily the end result. "Thanks to eating Cheetos, I feel like a new kid again," I'd say.
Oh the things we chubby kids will think of to justify eating chips in the morning. And oh how much greater life would be if the more cheetos you ate, the more weight you'd lose.