Friday, December 03, 2004

when nothing can be said.

occasionally, i'll come across a movie that will capture a family going through extremely horrific things, and will think to myself: "man, they have it bad." but later, as i think more on it, i get really frustrated.

i just saw a film that left me with that exact feeling. it was disturbing, personal, and quite possibly the most heart-breaking film i've ever seen...and it was a documentary (so it was all true, done as sort of an autobiography...which made it even more personal). so, as i'm seeing all this unfold of this guy's life and his upbringing in the last 1970s and 1980s, i can't help but think this: what do you say to someone or a family who's experiences are as awful as his were and still are? somehow, saying "God loves you" to someone who was raised around the knowledge of Jesus and God and the Church doesn't seem to go over so well....especially considering what they've been through.

yet, i found it fascinating (looking back now on the film) that the opening scene is over the filmmaker's mother...singing that ever-so-famous "This little light of mind!" while intermixing "Jesus" into the song in various places (i.e., "I'm gonna let it shine, for Jesus!" or something like that). now, i've seen the whole movie, the guy's whole story and the only question i really have is this: how can people who experience such things still let 'their light shine?' I'm guessing that was one of the many points the filmmaker wanted to get across, but still, it makes my heart ache to see things like this. i don't want to turn my head and act like they don't exist, but it's frustrating to watch and know that you can't do anything about it. it's one of the many times where i look up, shake my head, and wonder where in the world God is.

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