Thursday, May 26, 2005

Dating 101

Yesterday, I had a beautiful conversation / discussion with Greg, a friend from Taylor I work with, about L.A. and dating. We were talking about how so far off the "norm" is here when it comes to what's acceptable or expected if you're dating someone, and got kind of depressed about the whole thing. Sure, I love my generation but I wonder how much its hurt us to not have a steady, positive, consistent, dependent and altogether loving model on which to build our own romantic relationships on. I'm talking of course about the rampant divorce rate that's skyrocketed in the past 50 years or so, as one afternoon of listening to Dr. Laura can tell you no doubt. You'll hear kids---of parents who are divorced---calling in to try and make things right...trying to mend the wounds and broken bonds their parents have inadverently created within their own family, and it's just really sad.

I know this sounds like I'm a fundalit (Madeleine L'Engle's word creation of a "fundamentalist" and a "literalist") but it seems that the norm in today's society is not something I'd be too happy to always cling on to. Greg and I talked of how we don't think we'd want to be classified as being on the same lines as most people in L.A. when it comes to dating, partially because relationships are usually seen as "the end all answer to solve all of my problems." But as Greg paraphrased so aptly, from that lost-long-Disney-feel-good-heart-tugger "Cool Runnings," "If you're not good enough without this person, you'll never be good enough with this person." I guess he was basically saying that there are some places where only God to go, and I guess for the most part, I'd agree.

The problem comes when you become a "fundalit"---and you start naming where God should and shouldn't go, or where God should or shouldn't be---and that is a sad day, indeed. We Christians talk too much about what God isn't and project too often what God is only as seen through our own eyes. I realize that this is somewhat inevitable---when talking about the infinite, the finite explanation is as far as you'll get---but it still bothers me (even though I'm guilty of this too). I just wonder if it's even possible today to talk about God purely, without limiting Him or Her to a gender, or angry judge, or timid lover, or passive referee on the sidelines?

7 comments:

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