books and being back home...again.

late this afternoon we flew into kalamazoo after a good week and then some in the bahamas, and again, i'm glad to be home. i got to read 4 books (one technically i started before we left, so that doesnt' count) and they were all worth my time...for the most part. however, i must say that i have to agree with liz boltz on the fact that nicholas sparks is not one of my favorite authors. i read "the notebook" after my sister said i had to, and his writing style bugged me, even though it was readable and easy to pass. anyways, read david sedaris' new book which was a treat, despite it being a little riske and shocking in parts (but when is he not shocking or riske??). leonard sweet's new book "summoned to lead" is fabulous and short and compact and just full of good ideas. and "the emotionally healthy church" by Peter sazzero(sp?) was good, but kind of one of those books where you read and think, "i know this--this is just a way of putting it nicely into a structured manner and getting it all out there on paper." it was good though and had good things to say.

anyways, enough about books for now...b/c even though it sounds like i did nothing but read, i actually had so much time to just relax and think and just be me..which was good and bad i guess depending on the day and night and time. i read the book of ruth twice and wrote much of how insignificant and little she makes me feel--even though i admire her a great deal. i think just this time when i read it (i often read her story) it hit me much harder. the realization being that i was a far cry away from the faithfulness and honoring-type of faith that she posessed. i know God has spared me much suffering when it's come to people in my life that i love, and for this, i'm grateful but also recognize that b/c of this, i can't possibly be (yet?) as great a disciple as Ruth was. she lost the love of her life. i've lost a friend here and there, but nothing to this magnitude. so, i sit, and wonder...while realizing my limitations. i'm beginning to appreciate the stages of faith so much more now than i ever have b/c it seems that everyone is on a different journey even though some are heading for the same end. it's okay if i'm not as good or as smart as the next person my age and vice versa. my tendency is to judge, belittle or criticize those my age who haven't gotten what i've gotten. this is wrong, i know, but i'm working on it, like so many other things inside of me. and for now, i think that's about all i can do.