smelling acid bathroom cleaners for 8 hours.

today at work, it was the third day i had been working on cleaning this one public bathroom on the seventh floor of the hospital (a normal, home-size bathroom) and instead of leaving more for another day, i was determined after an hour that i would work until i was finished this time. i'm cleaning the floor, in between the one inch-by-one inch tiles, which hasn't been done (like i'm doing it--with a toothbrush, rag and tons of cleaner) for nearly 10 years. by noon, my eyes were bloodshot, and every time a co-worker asked me how i was doing, it took me a second to respond, as i looked at them wondering, "well, what does it look like? i'm sprawled out on my stomach, shamelessly cleaning this bathroom as if i were a slave?" and then responded with a slow, but assuring, "i'm great!" they always shook there head and said i should stop, but i was determined to get this done today. the other two days i had worked on it, i worked about 3 hours each day and had gotten very little accomplished. nurses walked by today exclaiming, "you're still working on this! i thought you were doing it on friday!?" I smiled politely and said that i was and that it just wasn't done yet.

that's always been a little bit of pet peeve of mine..when people's facial expression is exaggeration meets shockingly disappointed, as they look at you with a sort of how-in-the-world-are-you-still-working-on-this look. i can't stand that. it's an insult that i don't think is necessary b/c my shame is already pretty evident to all: i'm laying down scrubbing the in between tiles using my index finger, trying to remove the excess shoe dirt and God knows what else from the floor, while sweating and looking as if i just got done running a marathon...yet, my feet have moved very little. do i need any more insults to bring me down any lower? i didn't think so. but anyways, it was funny b/c ever since i started people walked by and were very compassionate and felt sorry for me asking, "who is making you do this?" or "this is wrong!" or "they can't make you do this can they?" Well, i'm employed here and so, i do what they tell me. I didn't think it was so bad of a job until everyone starting telling me how bad i had it. i thought it was kind of fun. i mean, i had my mission and i knew what i had to do to finish. but the more i worked, the more people pitied me and by the end of the day, i was pitying myself enough for the entire hospital staff. funny how influencing co-worker comments can be, huh?

oh well, now, i must get ready for Worship Arts Camp at our church. It's a week long thing for 1st-6th graders and I get to teach the DRAMA portion of the program to them...so i know i'll have stories to tell. I did it two years ago and it was one of the most rewarding things i've ever been able to do for my church...which is why i said i'd do it again. teaching a 6 year old how to act (especially since they've never done so before) is difficult, but oddly funny and in the end, usually very rewarding. anyways, pray for me as i take on my group---i'm looking forward to it, but am always hesitant about whether or not i'll be able to teach them well enough. au revoir pour maintenant. ;)---sorry for my ramblings by the way. this was way too long.